


This is what happy feels like

by Mierke



Category: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-11 03:49:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11706204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mierke/pseuds/Mierke
Summary: Audra stops by Rebecca's after the trial (1x13 - Josh and I Go to Los Angeles!)





	This is what happy feels like

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lucetteriellabritton](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=lucetteriellabritton).



That night, Rebecca opened her door to a knock and stood face to face, again, with her closest... friend? enemy? frenemy? from when she was younger.

"I'm not moving," Audra said, as she walked into Rebecca’s home, and closed the door behind her. She paid no attention to her surroundings at all, instead fully focussing on Rebecca.

"I know," she answered, a little confused as to why Audra was even here. Why hadn't she gone home? And why wasn't she heavily critiquing Rebecca's choice of neighbourhood or wallpaper or furniture?

"I got your job," Audra continued, crowding Rebecca against the wall of her hallway. She was close, so close, and Rebecca had a flashback to childhood dreams of them becoming the dream team, more than friends, them against the world.

She stopped those dreams from tumbling out of her mouth, though, and stayed quiet. 

"I am happy," Audra insisted, the kind of manic edge to her voice that Rebecca recognised all too well. Without even meaning to, she reached out to put her hands on Audra's hips. The touch seemed to snap Audra out of her daze, as she gazed at the point where their bodies touched. She took another step forward, effectively forcing Rebecca's arms to go around her waist; there wasn't a lot of personal space left between them, and Rebecca could feel the heat radiating from Audra. 

"I always thought I wanted to beat you, be you," Audra whispered, her mouth so close to Rebecca's ear that she couldn't supress a shiver. "I thought I'd finally won. For an Ivy League New York lawyer, I can be pretty stupid sometimes."

Her lips were on Rebecca's before she had even time to react or think. For the second time that evening someone who she'd admired for ages, someone who'd found a way into her heart so, so long ago, was kissing her. It felt both different and the same; the elation of it finally happening, the lightning fast analysis of how she thought it would feel vs how it was really feeling, the confusion settling at her core of what it all meant was the same, but the compassion she felt flowing out of her and the weird mixture of sadness and longing that Audra was pouring in were entirely new. 

There was no time to think, not with the way Audra was tugging at her clothes. Rebecca wanted to slow it down, wanted to make sure they were on the same page, wanted to _feel_ not just touch, but there was simply no time. It was a whirlwind, as every point of contact with Audra always had been. It was a battle for control, for dominance, a battle to come out on top. Audra was still vying for that win, and despite Rebecca's personal win from earlier and the idea that old Rebecca had ceased existing, she found herself pulled back in that competitive atmosphere their interactions had always existed in.

They never reached the bedroom, or even the couch; in fact, they never left Rebecca's cold and impersonal hallway. 

Yet it left Rebecca feeling oddly stronger once Audra had left her house with another "This is what happy feels like" thrown over her shoulder. Because while she didn't believe Audra's words, one thing was for sure. _This_ had been real. And if West Covina had taught her anything, it was that real beats fake every. single. time.


End file.
